I grew up in a small town in Mexico, called Camargo, and in 1963, I came to the USA where I grew up in a poor migrate Mexican family who brought me up with strong family values and lots of love. As I grew up I was always told that the best way to make a living was to go to college, graduate, and find a good job so I could be self sufficient.
But then, on the other hand, what I saw every day was my role model, my mom staying home while my dad went to work to support the family. When I grew up, I believed I was supposed to do the same. Therefore, I wasn’t too sure about what my college degree was going to do for me. My mom had gone to college but now she was home raising us. I decided at some point that I was going to do the same.
In 1980, one year after graduating from Cal Poly Pomona University, I got married to a man that won my heart.
I was so excited to start my new life with him.
During my first year married, our relationship did not go as I thought. It was a very codependent relationship.
Two years after our marriage, I became pregnant with our first son. I told my husband that I would be quitting my job after the birth of our son, and that was not what he wanted to hear and he was not happy. I did not expect him to react in this manner.
As my due date got closer, my thoughts ran wild. I was conflicted as to what I was supposed to be doing. Was I right in staying home? Should I continue working? Do I want someone else caring for our child?
I finally concluded that I would stay home because of the strong belief that a woman was meant to stay home and take care of their children just as I had seen my mom do.
Unfortunately for me, this decision created tremendous stress in our relationship. My life became one miserable adventure for the next 28 years.
During these 28 years, my decisions led to homeschooling and experiencing the joy of raising our four sons.The Turnaround
Since marriage is about two responsible people and neither of us was being very responsible, I decided to do something about my life. I stopped waiting for my husband to make my life happy, and instead, I began reading lots and lots of books on personal growth.
At the age of 52, with our sons grown, many books read, years filled with desperation, hurt, hopelessness, and a strong desire to run away from it all, I came to realize that I needed to step out of my comfort zone and begin investing in my life outside of books.
In 1980, one year after graduating from Cal Poly Pomona University, I got married to a man that won my heart. I was so excited to start my new life with him.
For the first time in my life, I made a clear decision to invest in myself to attend an NLP Practitioner Course for seven days and then follow it up, three months later, with a Master Practitioner Course for 16 days, which then led me to attend an NLP Trainer’s Training a year later and become a Trainer of NLP.
This was the best decision of my life. All three courses combined, had a 180-degree impact on my life. So much so that it changed my beliefs, my values, and the way I understood my life and my husband. I began to see him differently. I had more understanding for who he truly was. I saw hope.
The next 5 years would prove to be the most productive years towards my future. I chose to see my life with my husband in a different way; as beautiful gift. I began applying everything I had learned to better our relationship.
He became a pivotal point in molding my life’s purpose.
Everything that bothered me about him, I chose to reflect on myself and ask, “Why does it bother me?” With each answer came more clarity about who I was, what I believed, what I thought, what I heard and how I communicated on a daily basis. It helped me to understand situations that seemed impossible. I could control my state of being in the midst of chaos. All of this created a confidence in me that today serves me to help my clients step into their personal power.
Today, as I look back at all my years of misery, desperation, and hopelessness, I am so grateful for each and every situation that took place in my life, because it has molded me into the person I am today. It allows me to serve my clients with all my heart, soul, and mind. I can truly say to them, I understand what you are feeling and really mean it.